370 Posts in 251 Topics - by 1 Members - Latest Member: Mr. Tees

Author Topic: Things That Make You Go Hmmm...  (Read 577 times)

Mr. Tees

  • The King Of Ultra Violence.
  • Administrator
  • Sr. Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 370
    • View Profile
    • Jon Tees
Things That Make You Go Hmmm...
« on: July 21, 2015, 12:28:25 PM »

Jon Tees is shown wearing a royal blue suit with a black dress shirt sans a tie, brown alligator print dress boots and a matching belt (which is hidden by the sport coat. Standing yet again against the simplest of backdrops,  simply his name and logo he immediately begins cutting a promo.

Tees: You know once upon a time… likely before Jacob The Shit Talking Wonder Twink was  even born… there used to be this show called The Arsenio Hall Show that would air late nights…. more than likely past Jacob’s bedtime assuming he was born remotely within the era of that hit late night program. Anyway, long story short there used to be a running gag on that show called "Things That Make You Go Hmmm... "where during the course of an alleged long car ride Arsenio would ponder deep-troubling thoughts and refer to them as "Things That Make You Go Hmmm..."

Tees pauses and takes a sip of bottled water

Tees: Well one thing that makes me go Hmmm….. is how Jacob the wonder twink has such unmitigated arrogance and such an inflated ego. The guy acts as though he’s the greater wrestler whose ever “graced” the ring with his presence even though he’s never once even set foot into an Elite Wrestling ring and nobody knows him from any fucking where. Well Jakey Boy I got news for you… just because you signed a deal with Elite Wrestling doesn’t mean that you are necessarily one of The Elite. You need to earn that distinction by taking on and beating some of the greatest from around the world and across time.. much like I have done throughout my legendary career. I am providing you with that opportunity when you face my mystery associate and we shall see if you have what it takes to survive and thrive in this ultra competitive environment.  No Jacob my mystery man is not going to “tickle” your feet much as you’d enjoy that. Nor is he going to smell… lick or suck them. But what he will do and listen closely is he’ll take your foot and shove it up your ass… and he’ll fuck your ass with your own big toe and make you humble. At that point you’ll realize that you’re over matched and you’ll thank me for not putting you against one of my top tier guys right off the bat. But if by some miracle you do mange to squeak past my mystery man… well then I’ll break out the heavy artillery and put an end to your delusions of grandeur. The first episode of Wednesday Night Revolution will indeed be your last once my mystery man gets finished with you. You have been warned and the bells now toll for you and once bells start tolling heads start rolling. I just can’t wait for that vertically challenged midget and his sidekick that mentally challenged dwarf to make it official.

Fade out with Tees laughing.
« Last Edit: July 21, 2015, 12:34:57 PM by Mr. Tees »