Sean Mooney: Ladies and gentleman we have received some very shocking news. Mr. Goldstein has won a one night tournament over in Europe to be crowned the brand new WWF European champion. Specific details are unknown, but Goldstein is believed to have defeated several top European wrestlers to earn the honor and distinction of becoming the very first European champion of the WWF. We will bring you more as it develops, but in the mean time enjoy tonight’s live episode of Monday Night Raw.!!!
(The Update segment with Mooney concludes and the usual Raw theme play across your non HD television set. There is a brand new intro video which now features Mighty Voo Voo, Mr. Goldstein, Big Daddy Tees, Terry Funk, Raven, Jushin “Thunder” Liger and various other top WWF superstars. The camera then pans around the arena getting a look at the capacity crowd as the sirens continue to blare. We then approach Vince McMahon joined by the two newest additions to the commentary table Jim Ross and Jerry “The King” Lawler. McMahon begins speaking first.)
Vince McMahon: HELLO EVERYONE AND WELCOME TO MONDAY NIGHT RAW!! Joining me this evening are the two newest members of the commentary team Jim Ross and Jerry “The King” Lawler.
(Ross tips his cowboy hat to the crowd and the fans at home as Lawler smiles to the camera dressed in his ring attire, a regal robe and a crown. )
Vince McMahon: We have an exciting evening in store for you jam packed with WWF action. The Syndicate will once more do battle against The Loud Violent Riot in what has become a very heated and personal feud. A ten man over the top rope battle royal will be held to determine the new number one contender for the Intercontinental championship. And last but not least that very intercontinental championship will be decided in a 15 foot high steel cage where Mighty Voo Voo will do battle against current champion Terry Funk.
Jim Ross: I’m really looking forward to that one Vince it should be a real slobberknocker oh and it’s great to be here in the WWF.
Jerry Lawler: I’m no stranger to Terry Funk we’ve had our battles throughout Memphis and other places. I’ve won some. He’s won some this match should be pretty good but what in the heck is a slobber knocker?
Jim Ross: You’ll know one when you see it and you’ll be seeing one later on this evening when Funk and Voo Voo collide in that cage all hell’s going to break loose.
Vince McMahon: Speaking of all hell breaking loose lets go up to Howard Finkle it’s time to kick things off!.
Howard Finkle: Ladies And Gentleman the following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first at a combined weight of 410lbs “Too Good” Jon Roth, “The Morbid Marvel” Sykko, “The Loud Violent Riot!!!”
(“It’s A Long Way To The Top If You Wanna Rock n Roll” by AC/DC hits as Jon Roth and Sykko come to the ramp before walking to the ring. Roth often just tries to calm Sykko down on the way. Roth appears to be wearing a neck brace, dressed in street clothing and has his ribs taped. Obviously still injured from several weeks ago. )
Vince McMahon: It appears that Mr. Roth still shows signs of the wounds of war and doesn’t appear to be fully recovered from the beating he took several weeks ago.
Jerry Lawler: Ya Think McMahon? It’s rather obvious that he’s in no condition to compete but where does that leave his partner?
Jim Ross: This could get bowling shoe ugly.
Jerry Lawler: Where do you come up with this stuff?
(Sykko takes a mic and begins speaking.)
SYkko: Obviously my partner is not in any condition to compete this evening. And believe me the Syndicate will pay for what they have done to him. But Roth will be right here in our corner allow me to introduce my special replacement partner for this evening a man who is no stranger to The Syndicate Mr. “Hardbody” Harrison.
(Harrison makes his way out to no music he slaps hands with several of the fans many of whom shout “Welcome Back.” At him. )
Vince McMahon: For those who don’t remember several months ago Hard body Harrison was put on the shelf courtesy of a weight wielded by former Syndicate member Terry Funk.
Jerry Lawler: Hard Body Harrison? Of all of the partners Sykko could have picked he went and picked Hard Body Harrison? The man really is an idiot I just got here and already know that.
Howard Finkle: And Their opponents accompanied by The WWF Champion Big Daddy Tees at a combined weight of 490lbs Jushin “Thunder” Liger and the new European champion Mr. Goldstein they are The Syndicate!!!.
(The crowd instantly boos as “Damage Inc.” blares across the sound system. Liger and Goldstein make their way out in their respective entrance gear. Liger is on Tees’ left and slightly behind him and Goldstein is on his right slightly behind him. Tees is right in the middle as though he is leading the other two men. They reach the ringside area and both Liger and Goldstein enter the ring and prepare for business as Tees takes his place at ringside giving Jon Roth a look like “Stay out of my way if you know what’s good for you.” )
(The bell sounds and the match Is ready to begin.)
(Harrison starts things off with Liger but is no match for the far more experienced Liger who takes an early advantage and puts Harrison in a reverse chin lock. He then nails Harrison with several well placed knee drops. He brings him back into the corner and throws him against the turnbuckle. He tags in Goldstein he delivers some vicious knife edge chops on the young rookie followed by some elbow shots to the head. Harrison is down and appears to be bleeding he is far from his corner. Sykko appears to get in and help but all he does is distract the ref allowing Goldstein and Liger to double team the young wrestler and illegally switch off behind the refs back. Goldstein throws Harrison to the mat and almost dares him to tag Sykko. He nearly makes it before Goldstein pulls the youngster back to his corner. Harrison manages to finally kick Goldstein off of him and makes the tag.)
Vince McMahon: Sykko coming in like a house of fire.
(Sykko gets the better of Goldstein and nails several back to back suplexes followed by a power slam. He takes a shot at Liger on the apron. He nails a Yakuza Kick followed by a springboard cutter and goes for the cover but Liger manages to make the save not that he’d necessarily have Goldstein anyway at that point. Sykko tags in Harrison who instantly climbs to the top turnbuckle and attempts a diving head butt. But unfortunately for him Goldstein rolls out of the way. Goldstein then executes a neck breaker. Nailing a vicious elbow shot on Sykko he climbs the top rope and delivers a stiff diving elbow drop on Harrison. Dragging Harrison back to The Syndicate’s corner Goldstein and Liger connect with a spike pile driver. Harrison is obviously out when they excessively nail The Final Destination. Rather than pin Harrison they drag his lifeless body over to his corner and surprisingly allow Sykko to tag in. After a brief struggle in which Goldstein eventually gets the better of Sykko they nail The Final Destination on him as well Jon Roth can do nothing other than look on helplessly. Goldstein covers Sykko giving a menacing look to Roth as the ref counts 1 2 3. Awarding the victory to The Syndicate. Tees and his men celebrate as though they’ve just won the tag titles as “Damage Inc.” blares again and the crowd boos.)
Vince McMahon: The Syndicate wins another one and sadly they won this one fair and square no one can say they stole it. Loud Violent Riot looked really bad here using an ill prepared substitute against a consummate team.
Jerry Lawler: Never send a boy to do a man’s job.
Jim Ross: I’m a bit surprised that they didn’t resort to cheating at all here and this was a pretty even and down the middle match. They didn’t go after Jon Roth nor did he get involved it was just the men in the ring and the better team obviously won on this night.
Howard Finkle: Ladies And Gentleman Your Winners The Syndicate.!!!
Winners Via Pinfall: The Syndicate.
(We return from commercial and the ten man over the top battle royal is already in progress. Michael “P.S” Hayes has already hit the floor thus being eliminated from the match. There is complete anarchy and chaos as the ring is filled with a mass of humanity all fighting, all vying to get that shot at the Intercontinental championship next week.)
Jim Ross: This is completely insane there are bodies everywhere. This looks like one of my family reunions where everyone is fighting over the last chicken wing.
(Mr. Goldstein comes close to eliminating Randy Savage by kicking him under the bottom rope but doesn’t seem to realize that in order to eliminate your opponents they must go over the top rope and out to the floor. Savage fights his way back in and he and Goldstein exchange several elbow shots. Goldstein somehow gets his hands on the European championship belt and begins drilling several competitors with it. Goldstein and Liger easily eliminate both Natural Disasters and then team up on Sykko and eliminate him. Roth is once more outside of the ring for moral support cheering his partner on. The match goes on and it comes down to Goldstein and Liger and Perfect and Savage as the final four. They fight it out and Liger ultimately gets the better of Perfect. He nails a Crash Thunder Buster followed by a Liger bomb. He goes to toss Perfect but Perfect hangs on. Goldstein comes over and eliminates both Perfect and Liger. Liger appears angry and comes back into the ring to confront Goldstein only to spit Asian mist in Savage’s eyes. Goldstein easily eliminates Savage and wins the match to earn the title shot next week.)
Vince McMahon: Goldstein wins another one.
Howard Finkle: Ladies And Gentleman Your Winner And New Number One Contender For The Intercontinental Championship The European Champion Mr. Goldstein.
(The Crowd Boos As Beethoven’s Fifth Hits. Tees and Goldstein celebrate as several of the eliminated competitors receive medical attention on the floor. Both men head to the back each carrying their respective championship titles. )
Winner And New Number One Contender For The Intercontinental Championship: Mr. Goldstein
(The ominous steel cage is lowered as the lights darken and even more ominous music plays. Finally the cage is completely set up. The lights come back up as the crowd cheers with anticipation for the blood bath they are about to witness first hand.)
Vince McMahon: Ladies and gentlemen it is now time for the main event. The match that will determine who Mr. Goldstein faces for the Intercontinental championship.
Jim Ross: Should be one for the ages.
Jerry Lawler: I said it before and I said it before I told both of you nitwits that Terry Funk will be walking in the champion and walking out the champion. That goofball Voo Voo has got Jim Ross’ wife’s chance in a beauty pageant of winning this thing. I saw Ross’s wife and the only contest she could win first place in is a dog show.
Jim Ross: Hey watch it there King.
Vince McMahon: COOL IT THE BOTH OF YOU… Or You’ll be sent back to wherever it was you came from.
Ross and Lawler Together: We’ll be good.
Howard Finkle: Ladies and gentleman the following contest is a steel cage match and is for the intercontinental championship. Introducing first he is the challenger. Hailing from Mt. Airy, Maryland, he weighs in at 190lbs Mighty Voo Voo!!!.
(Dead Man’s Party by Oingo Boingo hits over the PA system, and Mighty Voovoo walks onto the stage, he struts down the ramp, dancing a little, having his motion match the rhythm of the trumpets when they are heard. He gets down to the cage, and takes off his white cape with the giant blue V and gives it to the ring hand. He shakes the side of the cage , and jumps up onto the ring steps, he enters the cage. He walks over to each corner of the cage, pointing to individuals in the audience, and giving them a thumbs up if they are giving any hints that they are fans of the 80’s too. Perhaps they are wearing an old Mario shirt, or an old Star Wars shirt, any 80’s reference will make Mighty Voovoo smile. His music dies down and he stands in his corner of the ring.)
Howard Finkle: And his opponent he is the reigning and defending Intercontinental Heavyweight Champion. He hails from The Double Cross Ranch, Amarillo, Texas. And weighs in at 247lbs accompanied by his manager the legendary “Mouth Of The South” Jimmy Hart… Terry Funk.
(“Fanfare For The Common Man” Hits and Terry Funk makes his way out to cheers from the crowd. Funk initially has a stoic or serious/angry expression on his face but as he gazes out upon the crowd he cracks a smile. He and Hart make their way down the aisle slapping and shaking hands with several of the fans. Funk reaches the cage and much like Voo Voo shakes the sides. He hands off the Intercontinental belt and enters the cage through the door as Hart takes his place outside of the cage.)
(The bell sounds as both competitors test each others strength. Voo Voo nails a scoop slam on Funk and Funk appears to favor his back. Voo Voo nails several more slams and appears to target the back of Funk.)
Jim Ross: Good strategy here by Voo Voo make it tough for Terry Funk to move and then make an easy escape from the cage.
(Funk then gets the upper hand and begins slamming the back of Voo Voo’s head into the cage. Voo Voo falls to the ground and Funk attempts to make a quick escape but Voo Voo manages to get up and catches him. He pulls Funk down and Funk hits the mat below with a thud. Voo Voo attempts a cover but Funk kicks out at two. Voo Voo then grabs Funk’s arm and delivers repeated elbow strikes to it. He applies an arm bar apparently now going for a submission. The ref asks Funk if he wishes to submit but Funk says no. He fights his way up and throws Voo Voo into the corner. He nails Voo Voo with ten punches and then attempts to climb the cage again but Voo Voo catches him and power bombs him hard to the mat. Voo Voo then makes an attempt to escape and nearly makes it up the other side of the cage before Funk catches him with a low blow and throws him off. )
Jerry Lawler: Funk pulling out all of the stops here.
(Funk goes for a roll up on Voo Voo but only gets a count of 2 and a half. Funk nails Voo Voo with a punching combination and stuns him. He connects with a stunner and again goes for the cover only managing to get a two count.)
Jim Ross: Funk appears frustrated.
(Funk attempts to escape through the door but at the last minute Voo Voo slams the door on Funk’s leg. Funk falls back inside of the cage. And Voo Voo begins working on his leg. Dropping elbows on it, and attempting a figure four. But Funk knowing the counter kicks Voo Voo off and sends him head first into the cage. As Voo Voo turns back around he is met with a fire ball right to the face. Funk goes for the cover but Voo Voo still manages to kick out. )
Jim Ross: I really can’t believe what we are experiencing here. The smell of burnt human flesh is absolutely horrifying.
(Funk begins grinding Voo Voo’s face into the cage and Voo Voo has now been opened up. Jimmy Hart manages to toss the mega phone over the top of the cage but Voo Voo catches it and hits Funk. He nails the Flash back and goes for the cover the ref counts but Funk barely manages to kick out earning the respect of the fans to some extent. Voo Voo takes the megaphone again and goes to hit Funk once more but Funk blocks it and counters connecting with a double arm DDT right on the mega phone.)
Vince McMahon: That mega phone has been used to win so many matches for Jimmy Hart’s men over the years.
Jerry Lawler: And it looks as though it’s won this one for my good buddy Jimmy Hart as well.
(Terry Funk manages to climb to the top of the cage and climb over the side as Voo Voo appears to be out. But instead of climbing over the top and winning the match Funk attempts and misses a Rolling Moonsault from the top of the cage.)
Jerry Lawler: What a stupid move by that idiot Terry Funk I take back every positive thing I ever said about him.
(Funk appears to be down but not out. He is now busted wide open he still begins crawling toward the cage door at the urging of Jimmy Hart. Suddenly Hart is thrown into the side of the cage by a figure it takes a while to identify. )
Vince McMahon: That’s… that’s Mr. Goldstein but what’s he doing out here right now?
Jerry Lawler: Maybe he came down to get a better view.
Jim Ross: I doubt it he’s here for the bounty on Funk.
(Just as Funk is about to reach the floor at or before the time Voo Voo does Voo Voo touches down and wins the match and the title due to the fact that Goldstein slammed the cage door right on Funk’s head. He is now continuing to do so. )
Vince McMahon: Mighty Voo Voo has won this match he’s the new champion.
Howard Finkle: Ladies and gentleman your winner and NEW INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION MIGHTY VOO VOO!!!
( “Deadman’s Party” Hits as The Intercontinental Championship is presented to Voo Voo. Voo Voo is unaware of what has transpired and begins heading to the back. Goldstein enters the cage and viciously assaults Funk tying him in the ropes and laying into him with stiff elbow and forearm shots. Funk is defenseless as Goldstein grabs a chair and begins slamming Funk in the head with it. Big Daddy Tees manages to make his way out and pad locks the cage door shut preventing any help from getting to Funk.)
Jim Ross: This is ugly and could get uglier.
Jerry Lawler: Goldstein is going to do it he’s going to collect the bounty.
(Just as Lawler says this Goldstein unties Funk from the ropes and places his arm inside of the steel chair. He then climbs to the top rope and elbows the chair down onto Funk’s arm. Funk screams loudly as Goldstein does it again. Goldstein then applies a vicious and sick looking arm bar and wrenches back causing a loud snap to be heard. )
Jim Ross: If that arm wasn’t broken before it is now.
Vince McMahon: Most definitely shattered perhaps, we need to get some help out here.
(Suddenly Mighty Voo Voo and Jimmy Hart come back out leading a group of wrestlers consisting of Hardbody Harrison, Raven, The Loud Violent Riot and others. Some of them fight off Tees and manage to break open the pad lock others climb the cage. The cage is eventually raised as The members of The Syndicate retreat after a brief brawl with this collection of wrestlers. Funk receives medical attention and can repeatedly be heard saying “My arm… my eye.” And yelling out in pain.)
Vince McMahon: That’s about all of the time we have for this week ladies and gentleman join us again next week for an all new live edition of Monday Night Raw! I’m Vince McMahon for Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler saying goodnight everyone.
Winner and new Intercontinental Champion: Mighty Voo Voo.
(The ending credits roll as Funk is carried out on a stretcher.)