“You should never have sex outside of marriage.”

“Masturbation is something that can send you to hell.”

“Everyone masturbates, masturbation is completely normal.”

“Masturbating over 35 is just plain weird and that makes you a weirdo for doing it.”

“Men masturbate throughout their lives at various points, it’s healthy and helps prevent prostate cancer.”

“Any and every sin is pretty much forgiven anyway wank away.”

“You were damned the first time you ever had sex outside of wedlock.”

(If those incessant and contradictory voices weren’t terrible enough the one that nagged me more than any other was his voice. That loud booming voice that sounded like he could speak across a crowded stadium and not need a microphone to do so. )

The Voice Of Jon Tees: They doubt you Todd, they don’t think you can win, you aren’t even being considered to win this tournament or make the finals.

The Voice Of Jon Tees: You need to prove the doubters wrong by not only beating but destroying them. People are calling you a joke and think you are a newbie even though you’ve been doing this since before they were even in diapers hell even before the birth of their great, great, grandparents. You are the greatest man, the greatest monster, the greatest entity that has ever existed in this business or any other and will prove it to the world when you as the dark horse, the sleeper, the underdog destroy every single person in this tournament and win it.

Westfile: Shut up all of you, I’m trying to sleep!!!.

Voice Of Tees: You don’t need sleep Todd, you prowl the earth like a lion night and day looking for your latest victim.

Westfile: Though true, I need to rest every now and again and would like to do so.

Voice Of Tees: Very well, I got a red head waiting for me in NYC cop your zzzz all will pay for having doubted you.


(Fade out with Westfile falling to sleep after some more brief torment from the previous voices.)