Andrew Giraldi was a shy, timid sort of kid. A nerdy looking dork who whenever bored or angry I frequently made a target of on the bus rides to and from vocational school. He ignored my verbal taunts pretty well on the surface, but I knew deep down they got to him. I could see him becoming visibly upset at times and even angry. I knew he must have gone home and cried his eyes out, maybe put his fist through a wall or perhaps even taken out his anger on another person. One day, I became bored with the verbal taunts that although they got a few laughs and gasps of anticipation that Andrew might do or say something back. I sat back watching, waiting, observing and noticed that Andrew had finally mustered up the courage to ask this girl named Charlene that he liked to the spring dance on the bus of all places. She said yes, and it was at this point that I came up behind Andrew and dumped a bucket of piss and spit over his head. He was furious as tears of anger rained down upon his face, some people laughed, some were in shock but Andrew was furious…. He took a swing at me, barely missing my face and punching me in the shoulder. It was then I dropped him with a single shot placed directly to the jaw. It was here that I realized we don’t live inside of a Hollywood movie… we in fact live in a world where the asshole can and often times does emerge victorious from a situation even one that they instigated.
We are currently in an old but not necessarily abandoned warehouse. There are boxes and boxes of baby formula to be sold on the black market in China. I am wearing a shark skin gray suit with a black mock neck dress shirt, no tie and black shoes. A gold chain around my neck. I approach Tony Carter who is again looking the part of a pimp in a royal blue pinstrip, with a light blue dress shirt, dark purple tie, matching fedora and black wingtip shoes.
Marvelous Marvin Fuller: Ok where are they Tony? You got me down here at 6am on a Sunday.
Tony C: They’re in the other room all tied and gagged you know what I need you to do.
Marvelous Marvin Fuller: What did they do anyway… If you don’t mind my asking?
Tony C: They sassed me. I don’t like being sassed. I don’t care if I merely perceived the disrespect or it was intended… but either way they need to be punished and you’re just the man to do it.
Marvelous Marvin Fuller: What do you want me to do?
Tony C: Knock them out but with style.
Marvelous Marvin Fuller: They’re tied up… and gagged… how can I do it with style?
Tony C: Think of a way… you’re not the dumb street punk people perceive you to be.
Marvelous Marvin Fuller: Who perceives me to be that way? I’m a world class athlete, a prize fighter, I went to college and have a degree in Marketing.
Tony C: Nevermind… you’ll prove em all wrong champ!
I walked into the room with the people to be disciplined. They were a diverse crowd, black, white, Mexican, young, old, middle aged. All had only one thing in common they had pissed off Tony Carter and he was paying me to do something about it. I decided some mood music was in order so I popped my James Taylor CD into the boom box. Ironically it started to play “Line Em Up.” although having a completely differently meaning it fit this situation in my mind and I couldn’t help but laugh. I began singing along with the song.
Marvelous Marvin Fuller: I remember Richard Nixon back in ’74 And the final scene at the White House door And the staff lined up to say good-bye Tiny tear in his shifty little eye
He said nobody knows me
These little people were good to me
Oh I’m gonna shake some hands. Line Em up…. Line Em All Up… Somebody Line Em Up… Line Em Up… Line Em All Up.
Marvelous Marvin Fuller: Oh well, singing time is over it’s time to break some heads.
I grabbed the boom box and for reasons I don’t fully understand myself, as opposed to simply turning it off like a “normal person.” I chucked it against the wall smashing it to smithereens. Without anymore hesitation I went down the line knocking out one person after another. male, female, black, white, Asian, young, old it made no difference to me. Once finished I returned to Carter.
Marvelous Marvin Fuller: it’s done.
Tony C: Good… here’s something for your trouble (hands me a couple grand)
Marvelous Marvin Fuller: Well, I’m going back to bed… catch you later Tony.
Tony C: Peace…. But don’t forget we have that interview to do later this afternoon.
Marvelous Marvin Fuller: The Phillies game is on at 4 and although I have a DVR and plan on recording it… could we do it before then?
Tony C: Certainly… thanks again for coming down and dealing with this problem.
Marvelous Marvin Fuller: Don’t mention it… all part of the gig… all part of the gig. If it wasn’t so early and I wasn’t in such a good mood I would have slapped em around and made em suffer a bit before just dropping them.
We return around 1pm EST and I am now in Carter’s office. I am wearing a different suit, something in a beige sort of color, same dress shirt, same shoes, but yet Carter is dressed exactly the same as earlier with the addition of brownish tint aviator glasses. All the necessary prep and set up work has been done and Carter merely begins speaking.
Tony C: Ladies and gentlemen…. It’s me… it’s me Mr. FUCKING Wrestling Tony C. And standing before me is one of several of my clients here in Rampage Wrestling… The Marvelous One… Marvin Fuller. I just wanted to provide you with a friendly reminder… my client is in no way responsible for what is about to happen to one Madison Cage… oh no, you can thank Draven Smith for that. Mr. Smith knows that my client is a prize fighter and a mercenary… a man who fights whoever he s told and paid to fight. He has no issues with striking or beating Madison Cage or smashing her face into a million different pieces because that is what he is being paid to do. So don’t blame my client… blame Draven Smith for making this match and blame Maddie Cage for accepting it knowing full well who-what she was going up against… she’s a pro supposedly and knew what she was getting into… she had to have known about my client’s history and reputation unless of course she’s been living under a rock… and yet she agreed to face him anyway with so much on the line and so much at stake. But I again reiterate my client will take zero pleasure in what he will do to Miss Cage… but he’s a professional and does his job no questions asked.
It was then that I began speaking.
Marvelous Marvin Fuller: Maddie…. This isn’t Hollywood darling… this is professional wrestling and you aren’t going to get some storybook ending where you overcome the “big bad man” and come out victorious… WAKE THE FUCK UP.! What is going to happen is I’m going to beat you, brutalize you and treat you as I would any other person standing between me and The Heavyweight Championship. It’s nothing personal it’s business. We live in reality where the bad guy, the villain, the cad, the asshole can come out on top and I admit it that’s me. You have terrorist organizations full of evil people doing evil things on a daily basis and yet they appear to be winning against the best efforts of the supposed “righteous.” You can dream about beating me all you’d like you’ll be doing plenty of dreaming when you’re laid out on the mat regretting your decision to agree to a fight against Marvelous Marvin Fuller. When you tell you’re unattractive husband-boyfriend-girlfriend or whatever that you “have a headache and aren’t in the mood” at the end of the night you won’t be lying. So Maddie I say this again… step up, step up and I’ll knock your ass out!.
Tony C: Because he’s Simply FUCKING Marvelous…. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.
Tony Laughs evilly as the scene fades to black flashing again The Anarchy Logo.