(Empty black nothingness. The location where you are currently is darker than your hat. You literally wouldn’t be able to see someone else’s naked ass in front of your face. Suddenly a candle flicks on revealing a figure sitting in a corner of the room. The figure is none other than Jon Tees. But Tees isn’t alone he is in fact holding something, something that resembles a large metal object. Tees begins speaking as the candle illuminates his face.)
Tees: I’d like to introduce you to my not so little friend.. this is Shovey and Shovey and I have won quite a few matches and injured quite a few people together. Shovey is and will remain my equalizer when dealing with Sting’s baseball bat and whatever objects Raven decides to use to try and cheat his way to another victory. So if either or both of you try and use weapons and steal another victory from me you and Shovey will be getting rather closely aquatinted if you know what I mean.
(Tees takes a pause before continuing.)
Tees: This match may not technically be the “official main event.” But I am the main event and thereby every match I’m in and/or involved in by proxy becomes the main event. I’m going to put you two ass clowns on the map when myself and Shovey here violently and brutally destroy you. The flesh will be ripped from your bodies and your bones will be crushed into oblivion. Parents put your children to bed this match will be violent and brutal the likes of which WCW has never previously bore witness to. I am the greatest wrestler/manager that there has ever been and the two will learn the very same lesson so many before you and so many after you will learn hell have no fury like Jon Tees pissed off. Hell is empty and the devil is here you have both been warned and as stated before the bells now toll for the both of you and when bells start tolling heads start rolling. Shovey and I are going to knock your heads into the fifth or sixth row you had better believe it so it is written and so it shall come to pass Jon Tees is going to kick your ever loving ass.