Jesse Ventura: Welcome to Jesse “The Body” and The Body shop. You know I’ve seen a lot of impressive people. And I don’t impress easy. I’ve seen Jimmy “Super Fly” Snuka jump off the top rope, I’ve seen Ricky Steamboat jump off the top rope, and I’ve seen Randy “Macho Man” Savage jump off the top rope, I’ve seen all of these characters jump off the top rope. But never, never have I seen a more devastating elbow in my life then by my guest at this time along with his manager Big Daddy Tees Mr. Goldstein.
(Goldstein enters The Body shop dressed in one of his expensive robes over top of his ring gear. Tees is right alongside him wearing one of his custom made suits with his name embroidered across the back in diamonds. Each man shakes Ventura’s hand.)
Jesse Ventura: Now I got to ask you something Mr. Goldstein… your elbow off of the top rope is just devastating to me.
(Not really a question but Goldstein answers anyway.)
Mr. Goldstein: Complete mental insanity… Jesse Ventura… Complete mental insanity. And I want to warn one man that you’re in the danger zone… and I’m talking about whoever is unfortunate enough to be intercontinental champion at the end of this week, because they’ll be dealing with me and my devastating and ever so dangerous elbow drop next week. Terry Funk, you traitor, you Benedict Arnold, you Judas you stabbed us all in the back because of your own selfishness and your own desires. I sincerely hope that you retain the title so that I can get my hands on you and make you pay. I’d love nothing more than to collect the bounty that this man right here Big Daddy Tees has placed on your head and bring the Intercontinental championship back where it belongs at the same time.
(Tees began speaking at this point.)
Big Daddy Tees: It’s rather apparent that that dumb Texan Terry Funk didn’t quite realize and couldn’t comprehend how the game works. You see I’m the one who uses people for my intents and purposes and then when I’m finished with them I discard them like a used prophylactic. But that selfish, self-serving, no good piece of Texas trash decided to go into business for himself and stuck a knife in my back. So Terry I’ll leave you with this… I told you way back when in the beginning that I would never, never, stab you in the back but when I was finished with you I’d take that knife and stick it right in your heart. That day is coming Terry don’t blame anyone but yourself when we take you out and end your career. But this week there are far more pressing matters than that snake in the grass traitor appropriately enough from “The Double Cross Ranch”
(Tees pauses a bit and then continues)
Big Daddy Tees: This week… this man right here Mr. Goldstein will be involved in a battle royal against 9 other men. 9 other men will experience the same heart ache and disappointment that I experienced when someone I thought was my friend, thought was my brother decided to stick a knife in my back, when they are eliminated and Mr. Goldstein’s hand is raised in victory. And then next week Goldstein will take the Intercontinental championship from either that big goof Mighty Voo Voo or from that washed up, over the hill traitor Terry Funk. It makes no difference to us either way but Goldstein will become your new and might I add improved Intercontinental champion.
(Goldstein then begin speaking again.)
Mr. Goldstein: I have a lot of wealth and I have a lot of power and influence. I don’t really need the money that the bounty on the head of Terry Funk will provide. $10,000 really is nothing to me it’s a new robe or some new ring gear. But what I do to Terry Funk will be a matter of pride, a matter of principal. Terry Funk will not know when it’s coming but he can rest assured that it is coming and Goldstein is coming to collect.
Big Daddy Tees: You have all been warned, you have all been put on noticed and the bell tolls for all of you and when bells start tolling heads start rolling.
Jesse Ventura: Thank you very much for being my guest this week gentlemen.
Big Daddy Tees: Don’t mention it Jesse it’s always an honor to be here.
(The Two Men Depart After Once More Shaking Hands With Ventura)