(At this very moment I am getting a deep tissue massage at a massage parlor that I rented out for the afternoon as I didn’t want anyone else around. I continue getting the massage and then a facial. I get a manicure and a pedicure as well just because I can. After pretty much an entire day of this treatment I hit the showers and clean myself up. I come out dressed in a rather expensive imported white suit with a red dress shirt, no tie but rather several gold chains around my neck. I get into a long, black stretch limo which I own and begin watching the television that I have installed in the back while I pour myself a glass of bourbon. I check out my match from the previous edition of Monday Night Raw. Rather impressive, I really bested that Michael “P.S” Hayes good giving him an incredible thrashing. I dominated the man from start to finish, bell to bell beginning to end etc. He barely got any offense in at all and that which he did I barely felt, noticed or remembered. After I finished watching that a couple of times I watched the past several matches that my opponent this week Randy “Macho Man” Savage has appeared in and noticed a pattern. Savage has not won a single match since he’s been back. He lost to Raven at The Royal Rumble pay per view, he failed to win the Royal Rumble match. He lost to Mighty Voo Voo a few weeks ago and he lost to Mr. Perfect this past Monday. If Savage think’s he’s going to break this losing streak when he tangles with yours truly he had best think again. )
(Some time passes and I arrive at my rather large and luxurious mansion. My manager Big Daddy Tees is waiting there for me dressed in an expensive suit. Granted not nearly as nice or expensive as mine but still far better than anyone else wears around here or just about anywhere else. I greet Tees with a handshake and we begin speaking.)
Big Daddy Tees: Mr. Goldstein how nice that it is to see you again.
Mr. Goldstein: Likewise Mr. Tees always a pleasure.
Big Daddy Tees: Did you hear what Randy Savage said about you?
Mr. Goldstein: No unfortunately I have not what did he say exactly?
Big Daddy Tees: Absolutely nothing…. He’s scared silent and hasn’t said a word. That’s completely uncharacteristic of The Macho Man.
Mr. Goldstein: Well Savage isn’t brain dead like half of the dunderheads around here. He has been around and knows better. He knows to keep his mouth shut and watch what he says regarding me. He like everyone else laid witness to that glorious beating I inflicted upon one Michael “P.S” Hayes this past Monday.
Big Daddy Tees: You got that right… I have never seen anyone else lay waste to Hayes with so little effort you didn’t even break a sweat. If I didn’t know any better, I would have assumed you were wrestling some ham and egger in his first ever professional match.
Mr. Goldstein: Well you know Mr. Tees, wrestling is in my blood. I was born and bred to be a champion so In comparison to myself nearly everyone is a ham and egger. I have been watching film on the WWF roster and I fail to see anyone who comes close to being on my level or in my league yourself excluded of course. But be advised that although we have a deal in place and are teammates sooner or later I’ll be coming for that championship around your waist.
Big Daddy Tees: Oh, I know. There are no friends in this business only acquaintances. I look forward to the day when we’ll meet inside of that ring and find out which of us is the better man. But in the mean time we are on the same team, the same page and together there is no one who can touch us in the WWF. The title will remain in the possession of The Syndicate for all time.
Mr. Goldstein: (Laughs) now there is business to attend to cigar?
Big Daddy Tees: No thanks, don’t smoke.
(I light the cigar with a $50 bill. It makes no matter to me as there are plenty more where that came from. I finish smoking the cigar and then myself and Tees head into my private promo room. I set things up and begin them by showing video highlight footage of some of my greatest moves, matches and moments all compiled into a short video less than five minutes in length. When this is done airing I begin speaking with Tees by my side. The backdrop looks like that which is traditionally used for such promos with simply my name “Mr. Goldstein” and logo. Tees begins speaking first. )
Big Daddy Tees: I told you all that I had an incredible acquisition that would take the WWF by storm. That of course being Mr. Goldstein one of the greatest wrestlers in the world today. Mr. Goldstein gave you a small sample of what he’s capable of this past Monday when he basically destroyed Michael “P.S” Hayes in short order. But I can assure you that was merely the tip of the Ice berg. What you saw although impressive wasn’t even half of Mr. Goldstein’s repertoire. Hayes didn’t prove himself worthy and didn’t last long enough to even come remotely close to putting Mr. Goldstein to the test. Hopefully this weeks opponent Randy “Macho Man” Savage can prove to be gamer competition but I seriously doubt it. You see Savage I honestly forget the last time that you’ve won a match around here since you returned to the ring. To jog your memory you were defeated by Raven at the Royal Rumble pay per view. You failed to win the Royal Rumble match the match that I ultimately went on to win and become champion. You lost to Mighty Voo Voo the following night on Raw and just recently were soundly defeated by Mr. Perfect who utilized the oldest trick in the book and quite frankly a trick you should have seen coming a mile away, the old thumb to the eye. But whatever the case Savage I don’t really care why you are a shell of your former self these days. But if you think for a second that you are going to break this losing streak of yours against Mr. Goldstein think again. Mr. Goldstein will systematically take you apart piece by piece and give you a wrestling lesson if you can believe that. Look at how effortlessly Mr. Goldstein took apart Michael “P.S” Hayes this past Monday it’ll be more of the same when he faces you.
( I then began talking.)
Mr. Goldstein: Randy Savage I could buy and sell you several times over. I could flash some cash and make you make a complete fool of yourself for what to me is only a couple of bucks. But instead of all of that I’m going to defeat you and humiliate you in the middle of my wrestling ring. I have more heart, more drive, more determination, more skill and more intestinal fortitude than you could possibly even fathom . I am the superior wrestler, the superior athlete and the superior man. And when all is said and done I will be standing with my hand raised in victory over top of your prone and broken, defeated body. Your career has been on a pathetic downward slide for a while now. You fail to realize that time has passed you by and it’s time for you to hang up the tights. But I’ll make you realize this when I prove it to you and everyone else, I’m going to mercifully put you out of your misery when I end your career this coming Monday. You can’t comprehend the greatness that stands before you. By night’s end you will bow to me and kiss my ring coming to accept the fact that I am your superior, always have been and always will be.
Big Daddy Tees: Savage be advised that you may not want to show up to this one. Unless of course you don’t mind emotionally scarring everyone who bears witness to this encounter as that is exactly what is going to happen. Your annihilation at the hands of Mr. Goldstein will not be pretty. But Savage you know the deal and you have been warned. Those infamous bells now toll for you and when bells start tolling heads start rolling. (laughs evilly)
(I gave an evil smirk as the camera faded out.)
Mr. Goldstein: Racket ball?
Big Daddy Tees: Sure.
(Complete fade out)